Come è bella Versace! (and how to survive her H&M launch)

Are Versace and Starbucks in cahoots by any chance?

Anyway, yes, that's right. Ms. Donatella Versace (she's probably the type who shouldn't wear pink lipstick) will be the topic of discussion for the next few days, and not just on my blog. With all the hype going around about the launch of the Versace for H&M collection, I couldn't help but cave and feature the fashion house this week. Also, I think it's an interesting house to contrast with Chloé, as it is so drastically different in all it's gaudy, unpredictable fabulousness. Just for those of you out there who don't know, the Versace for H&M line (featured in Sunday's post) hits most select H&M stores (i.e those in metropolitan areas) this Thursday, November 17th. However, the line won't be available to the North American public until Saturday, November 19th (which actually works out better because it means that I don't have to skip school to jump in line). And as far as I know the line will not be available for online purchase (except for ebay, and a sketchy Chinese website that in no way seems counterfeit *cough cough*). Here's a video of the launch party that all the pretty stars and socialites got to attend sigh:

The event has been well planned out and has very specific rules for the adrenaline pumped, stiletto wearing hazards to society that will be flooding the sidewalk outside H&M. I know I previously mentioned the protocol, but here it is in more detail:

The first 230 women in line get different colored wristbands which codify what time they can enter the store for their 15 minutes of shopping. During these 15 minutes, each woman is only allowed to select TWO items from each section, which is mostly to avoid the clothing turning up on ebay (oops! it's already happened! But at a 30-40% markup? No thanks!). Men, who aren't half as excited about the collection as demonstrated by comments that relate the much advertised hot pink suit, seen here on Mark Ronson, to a certain part of the female anatomy, don't have to wait in line, but cannot access the women's floor. It seems all the loopholes are closed then, and besides unleashing some serious, Black Friday style, fashion-induced rage, we'll all just have to civilly wait in line praying that those palm tree leggings don't sell out!! Okay, just breath, Laura, lower the blood pressure. 

Thinking about this logically, here are some tips that may help you sleep at night while you clench your teeth pondering "HOW WILL I EVER BEAT THAT QUEUE!?"

1. Don't go! (More clothes for me, muahaha!!) Seriously, if you can't handle a black eye, a pointy high heel stab, or the mad rush of a crowd, don't risk it! We all remember the Target Missoni Incident, a moment of silence for those involved...

2. Get there EARLY! I myself am NO EARLY BIRD...in fact any iota of positivity in the morning is enough for me to backlash with snarky comments and general hate rays. I mean, honestly, who wakes up and thinks, "wow, it's so cold in this room, I can't wait to jump out of my warm bed and shock my body with the fluctuating temperature of my erratic shower! Oh look, the sun is just rising!" I gagged just typing that. However, events like this are well publicized, majorly hyped, and definitely on the radar of a few thousand women per city. Again, think Black Friday: a sleepless night of grabbing at clothing you maybe wouldn't even find that attractive if the prices weren't low and your melatonin levels weren't bonkers. So, get good sleep, down an espresso, and be prepared to wait in line very very early. Realistically you're not going to be first in line, (unless you own a tent and don't mind being sexually propositioned by a homeless man) but you can be damn close, and just think of the benefits of being one of those first 230 women! That ought to be enough to keep your adrenaline levels high enough to get you through the morning...

3. Bring a buddy. Seriously, there is power (and safety) in numbers. Plus, what better way to kill those hours in line than with a few games of rummy or hangman...What am I 50? I guess you can compete for high scores on angry birds...or listen to music on Spotify? If you can't find anyone willing to risk her life for Versace, then just grab some good reading on your way out of the house, whether that be Vogue, Hemingway or New York Magazine. Also, don't forget your camera for proof that you survived the Versace for H&M launch (and to make that friend who couldn't make it jealous). 

4. Decide what you want BEFORE arriving at the store. This one may seem obvious, but it's so vital, especially with only 15 minutes of shopping time, and a mob of aggressive, overly-caffeinated, impatient women! This ain't their first rodeo! It's every woman for herself! Meaning that even when you have that gorgeous pink, gold-studded dress in your hands, it could be ripped from your grasp in the blink of a heavily mascaraed eye...and hey, fair is fair, right? So, go in with an idea of the two items you want, dart for them, grab your size, and stuff them where the sun don't shine! Okay, don't do that, but do keep a  close watch. It's also doubly safe to go in with a few back ups, just in the sad, but likely chance that what you're seeking is sold out.

5. Go in with a relaxed, fun attitude. I know it's so hard to remember, but at the end of the day, these are just clothes that will go out of style within a year or so. And while it is a very high end designer producing these clothes, it doesn't make them magic beans or pots o' gold. In other words, there is not guarantee of you getting what you want, or even anything at all, as the launch in your respective city is completely unpredictable. So the only way to not feel completely depressed and defeated at the end of the day, is to go in with low expectations about the outcome, and the view that it's a fun event, and a rare occasion to be a part of! The last thing women need is another reason to turn on each other, so be respectful (though not naive, see point 4), make friends in line, and maintain your dignity. Because at the end of the day, your dignity may be the only thing you walk away with, so you'll want to have that intact.

Well, just to get you excited here are some more pictures from the line that will be launching Thursday for most of the world, and Saturday for North America. The H&M for Versace website has a store locator so you can see just where you need to be during those wee hours of the morning of the launch. I'll be at H&M's Montreal location at St. Catherine and Peel. See you there?

What we have to look forward to is some kitschy, 90's inspired, bright, colorful, crazy-patterned fun statement pieces. The lines main aim was to offer a little something from every aspect of Versace's signature concepts, and to stay true to the Versace name, hence the line's title "The Very Best of Versace for H&M". There is a lot of criticism and praise for this line, which is understandable. However, while it may not appeal to all aesthetics, it does seem to offer a little something for everyone: 

(That red dress has generated a lot of hype on fashion blogs) 

So, if you didn't know, now you know, and you can decide yourself whether it's worth potential french-tipped nail scars and acknowledging that the morning exists.

Tomorrow, I'll do a brief history of Versace, and then we can maybe see the relation between the H&M line and her previous work! 

Ciao for now xx

P.S Remember that for next week's Trendy Wednesday I want to feature your take on this fall's snakeskin print trend. Send in some pictures and I'll be happy to post them !!